Things you should give up to be Happy

We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right

 There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question:

 “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?”  ~Wayne Dyer

What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” ~Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame

 Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk

 Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” ~Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs

about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind.” ~Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining

 Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change

 Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.” ~Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels

 Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open.

 “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” ~Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.

“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” ~Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

This is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier.

Social Sites These Days

I have more than six hundred friends, yet I am lonely. 

I speak to all of them everyday, yet none of them really know me. 

The problem I have sits in the spaces between looking into their eyes 

or at a name on a screen. I took a step back and opened my eyes, 

I looked around to realize the media we call social is anything but. 

When we open our computers, and it's our doors we shut. 

All this technology we have it's just an illusion. 

Community companionship a sense of inclusion yet, 

when you step away from this device of delusion, you awaken to see a world of confusion. 

A world where we're slaves to the technology we mastered,

where information gets sold by some rich greedy bastard. 

A world of self interest, self image, self promotion. 

Where we all share our best bits, but, leave out the emotion. 

Were at 'almost happy' with an experience we share, 

but is it the same if no one is there? 

Be there for your friends and they'll be there too, 

but no one will be if a group message will do. 

We edit and exaggerate, crave adulation. 

We pretend not to notice the social isolation. 

We put our words into order and turn our lives a-glistening. 

We don't even know if anyone is listening! 

Being alone isn't a problem let me just emphasize; 

if you read a book, paint a picture, or do some exercise. 

You're being productive and present not reserved and recluse. 

You're being awake and attentive and putting your time to good use. 

So when you're in public, and you start to feel alone. 

Put your hands behind your head, step away from the phone! 

You don't need to stare at the menu, or a your contact list. 

Just talk to one another, learn to coexist. 

I can't stand to hear the silence of a busy commuter train 

when no one want's to talk for the fear of looking insane. 

We're becoming unsocial, it no longer satisfies...

to engage with one another, and look into someone's eyes.

We're surrounded by children, who since they were born, 

have watched us living like robots, who now think it's the norm. 

It's not very likely you'll make worlds greatest dad, 

if you can't entertain a child without using an iPad. 

When I was a child, i'd never be home. 

Be out with my friends on our bikes we'd roam. 

I'd wear holes on my trainers, and graze up my knees. 

We'd build our own clubhouse, high up in the trees. 

Now the parks so quiet, it gives me a chill. 

See no children outside and the swings hanging still. 

Theres no skipping, no hopscotch, no church and no steeple. 

We're a generation of idiots, smart phones and dumb people. 

So look up from your phone, shut down display. 

Take in your surroundings, make the most of today.

Just one real connection is all it can take, 

to show you the difference that being there can make. 

Be there in the moment, when she gives you the look, 

that you remember forever as 'when love overtook‘. 

The time she first held your hand, or first kissed your lips, 

the time you first disagreed and you still love her to bits. 

The time you don't have to tell hundreds of what you've just done. 

Because you want to share this moment with just this one. 

The time you sell you sell your computer, so you can buy a ring, 

for the girl of your dreams, who is now the real thing. 

The time you want to start a family, and the moment when, 

you first hold your little girl, and get to love again. 

The time she keeps you up at night, and all you want is rest. 

And the time you wipe away the tears as your baby flees the nest. 

The time your baby girl returns, with a boy for you to hold, 

and the time he calls you granddad and makes you feel real old. 

The time you've taken all you've made, just by giving life attention. 

And how you're glad you didn't waste it, by looking down at some invention. 

The time you hold your wife's hand, sit down beside her bed, 

you tell her that you love her and lay a kiss upon her head. 

She then whispers to you quietly as her heart gives a final beat, 

that she's lucky she got stopped by that lost boy in the street. 

But none of these times ever happened, you never had any of this. 

When you're too busy looking down, you don't see the chances you miss. 

So look up from your phone, shut down those displays, 

we have a final act existence a set number of days. 

Don't waste your life getting caught in the net, 

because when the end comes there's nothing worse than regret. 

I'm guilty too of being part of this machine, 

this digital world, we are hear but not seen. 

Where we type as we talk, and we read as we chat. 

Where we spend hours together without making eye-contact. 

So don't give into a life where you follow the hype. 

GIve people your love, don't give them your 'like‘. 

Disconnect from the need to be heard and defined, 

go out into the world leave instructions behind. 

Look up from your phone. Shut down that display. 

Stop reading this poem. Live life the real way.

Friendship

"Friends Aren't Made, They Are Born But Should Be Made For Life."

Friendship, we all know that feeling when we care for someone who is not related to us by birth. A special someone whom we choose to share part of our life with! A confidante whom we select and consider our own! It is often said being friends means "One Soul in Two Bodies".To share with a friend is the most natural thing to do.

No matter if you are happy or sad, hurt or feeling lonely first set of people that may come to your mind, of course apart from your own family, are your friends. Friends become the extended part of our family. A real friend is always there for you, no matter what a fool you have made of yourself, they are the ones who aren't scared to show you your real face, or tell you that you have been acting weirdly or stupidly over a matter.

In today's busy world, people seldom have time for friends, everyone is so busy with their own lives, their own issues, their own problems that they forget to keep in touch with their childhood or college friends. And in today's world people are far more stressed and complain of diseases related to unhealthy eating habits and stress at a much younger age. Why? Well simple answer is we are all too stressed. But what do we do to unwind?

Every one plans to take an yearly vacation to some exotic location for a week and unwind and relax from all the stress. But do you have to go far to relax when you can do it right here in your city and that too at your own home. Yes, with friends! Meeting up old friends always brings back memories of the good times share, relaxed times and the mischief and tantrums of those good old days. Reviving all such memories is said to have a very positive effect on human mind. They basically remind you of good times, make you laugh, make you feel happy and in the process relax you within a few minutes and this relaxation didn't even burn a hole in your pocket.

We are not born with friends, we make them when we are young but often we leave them behind as we grow up the professional ladder. The best way to have a friend is to be one! If we continue to be in touch, make sure we know what's happening in our friends lives, the bond will only grow stronger and we would always have an emotional support to fall back on in times of stress or mis-happenings. This doesn't require lot of effort, just pick up that phone and call a long last friend today and see how you would have made his/her day special. Friends are the most precious people we have in our lives, if you had put in effort to make them friends at one point of time, why not a little effort to sustain them for life?

Reasons to study Medicine and Be a Doctor

Once you have considered medicine as a possibility, things might complicate - the first issue being whether to listen to your heart or your mind. Our minds often impose subjective points of view of the society and our immediate surroundings, which will undoubtedly encourage us to choose medicine up to that point when we forget what our heart's and our own desires are. In this article we bring ten (objective) reasons why study medicine.

1. Plenty of opportunities upon graduating

This reason is rarely stressed properly, but it truly is so. After gradutation there is a broad range of opportunities for future job. In case you find none of the possibilities appealing, you can combine them or invent your own path of further specialization. Upon finishing medical college you can choose to work in hospitals, science institutes, public health care or be part of the medical segment of some other science. There are doctors who are managing health care costs in economical sciences, or cooperate as a part of judicial sciences in proving medical errors and patients' rights.

Be that as it may, do not worry in case you do not see yourself as a future pediatrist or surgeon; you have six years to decide what exactly you are interested in.

2.Working with people

A lot of students name working with people as their primary reason to study medicine. If you are a people person, medicine is the right choice for you. It is of vital importance to stress that to work with people you absolutely must have a great deal of tolerance towards endangered social groups, e.g. the old and disabled.

In course of your studies you will be able to improve this skill even if you do not have a particularly developed affinty towards working with people. During your studies, but also later in hospitals, you will meet a lot of people besides patients - patients' families, medical staff, technicians, administrators etc. As a part of you medical training you will also learn not to form bonds towards patients and their diagnoses or faiths, which is an extremely delicate problem especially when it comes to children.

3. The ability to help people directly and make them happier

This was my main reason for enrolling into medical college. The progress of the human kind and civilization is the purpose of almost all of the college programmes. Medicine participates in this process in the most direct way. The most doctors would say that there is no greater joy than the one you feel when you manage to help a very sick patient or when a group of scientists discovers a new medicine for a certain disease. The ability to directly help the curing process is also a challenge and sometimes it is not easy to cope with it. For this reason your medical education will prepare you so you can land on your feet in 99% of the cases.

4. Team work

Medicine nowadays is based on team work. You will be divided into smaller groups already while at college and this will give you a chance to perfect your people skills. These skills will also come in handy later when you start practicing medicine; not only does a doctor cooperate with nurses and other doctors on daily bases, but he is also a mentor figure and a role model for his students.

Without team work you cannot succeed in the field of medicine, so if you are a lone wolf, you might want to reconsider whether medicine is the right choice for you.

5. Respect in society

Whether we want to admit it or not, doctors are always on the top of the social scale. Whether you go to the theater or to the cinema you should know that you will be noticed. Not downright like Dr. Oz, but a certain part of people will pay attention to you too. This also represents a great responsibility because it is not seldom that a doctor is also a moral authority, especially in smaller places.

On the one hand, this could be a problem because some cannot bear this responsibility and cannot come to terms with the fact that they have lost a part of anonimity that majority of people has. On the other hand, this respect in society is a major factor while choosing the field of medicine for some people. The fact that a lot of doctors end up in politics and continue their careers as politicians supports this theory.

6. A great need for doctors

World needs more doctors. The situation in Europe is really good compared to some other continents like Asia or Africa. There are also differences in numbers and need for doctors in different European countries. A lot of EU countries that have forbidden or restricted employment of foreign citizens do not apply this decision on doctors. In most cases medicine students get a job sometimes even the very day they graduate.

7. Safe job, career, and lifestyle

Another not quite irrelevant reason to study medicine is a certain stability upon graduation. This reason is becoming even more prominent in countries still coping with recession and in a situation where it is becoming harder and harder for young people to find a job. In case this is your decisive reason for studying medicine, be aware that this is not an easy or a simple job, but a job with a lot of sacrifice and personal investment. Nevertheless, a job is waiting for you.

8. Constant ameliorating

The end of medical studies does not mean the end of learning. Quite the opposite - your college is providing you with basics for further knowledge and skill development. Summits and seminars are often organized in exotic locations in order to attract as many doctors as possible. A lot of students see this reason as the significant difference in comparison to other studies and for this they point medicine out as a unique example of constant professional perfecting.

9. White coat

This reason might seem funny to you, this may not even seem like a reason to study medicine to you, but as something irrelevant. Nevertheless, some students look forward to putting on their white coats during practicing in class. White coat, other than being a clothing item and a part of doctor's uniform, is also a representative of the order of the medical system, cleanliness of the job, and high hygiene standards. A tidy and clean coat is emitting a clear doctor's attitude towards patient. Precisely these reasons make the white coat one of the reasons to start studying medicine.

10. Science universal to the whole world

And the last, but not the least reason is a great uniformity of medical science. Upon graduating from a medical college in Europe you can find a job and work in any hospital in South America or anywhere else in the world (unlike some humanistic sciences). Furthermore, the major part of medical literature is in English, the most of the medical terms are in Latin. You will get acquianted with English and Latin in the course of your studies so that words like vertebra or clavicula will be nothing new neither to you nor to a doctor on the other side of the world.

By naming these top ten reasons, I tried to encompass the most of the points that students of medicine name as their motivation for studying medicine and which are the main cause for choosing precisely this vocation. One should also not forget giving up free time which is essential for successful ending of this college. Just as there are these ten reasons for, there are also reasons against, but the final decision is for you to make. Sometimes all it takes is just one reason to make the right choice.

Seven Habbits of a good medical Students

Habit 1: Learn how you learn. Then just do it.

Medical school can be a bit of a shock. We all know it will be hard, requiring long hours, but the sheer enormity of knowledge we need to master (or at least make a passing acquaintance with) can be overwhelming. You will need to figure out how you learn best, and most efficiently. Is it taking copious notes in class? Drawing pictures of dissections? Re-listening to lectures on your iPhone while out for a run? I was a solitary studier all through college, poring over all the required reading and taking notes. I tried to continue this pattern in medical school. This worked fine during the first term, which was largely a review of basic science principles I knew well already. However, after getting my results back on the first anatomy exam at the start of our second term, I realized something had to change. My response was to join a study group. While I might have avoided my areas of weakness when studying alone, in a group, we’d be sure to go over all those annoying branches of the brachial plexus. This is a habit that will help you beyond medical school. The field of medicine is one of life-long learning. We will constantly need to update our knowledge of our field by reading journals, attending conferences, and discussing interesting cases with our colleagues. 

Habit 2: Look beyond your books. 

You may feel like you need to study 24/7, but if you never leave the library, you will miss out on a lot your medical school has to offer. Join clubs, get involved with student government, sign up for a committee. Not only will you contribute to the culture of your medical school and help make it a more enriching place for other medical students, you never know what connections you might make. One of my peers who joined the student government found herself rubbing shoulders with many faculty, including department chairs. When she decided she was interested in radiology, she was able to set up a time to have an informal chat with the department chairman, as she already knew him. By being involved, you will be learning how to network and establish connections that will serve you throughout your career.

 Habit 3: Give back. 

We all spent time in our pre-med years scurrying amongst volunteer experiences in an attempt to become a better applicant, er, and to give back to the community, of course. Don’t stop with that acceptance letter. Medical school provides lots of opportunities; you have a chance to contribute to the community, make connections, develop new skills and, yes, they can go on your residency application. I served as a co-director of our student-run free clinic. It not only gave me a chance to work on my leadership skills, but also helped me discover that I enjoy the administrative aspect of medicine as well, something that impacted my career decisions.

Habit 4: Be adventurous, both professionally and personally – you never know where it may lead you.

 What you may not realize at the beginning of medical school is how quickly the time goes by and how soon you will need to be making decisions about your specialty. Early exploration can be invaluable in helping you make your decision. The summer between first and second year, another of my colleagues had the opportunity to do a research project with the ophthalmology department. Although it wasn’t a specialty she was particularly familiar with, she liked the people she was working with and threw herself into the project. She found her passion and is now starting her ophthalmology residency. Many medical schools offer opportunities to go abroad. Even (especially!) if you’re not an international traveler, these can be great experiences, exposing you to other medical cultures. 

Habit 5: Recognize your own strengths (and weaknesses). 

To get into medical school, you’ve likely been at the top of your class most of your life. The thing about medical school is that all of your classmates have as well. And, when grades come out, not everyone can be at the top of the class. For me, this moment was rather sobering – and demoralizing. Allow yourself not to be really good at everything. Work on your weaknesses so they don’t become your Achilles’ heel, but don’t dwell on them. Instead, feed your strengths. Nowhere in my Dean’s letter does it say, “And she is not so great at anatomy.” 

Habit 6: Establish a circle of mentors. 

Some schools have formal mentoring programs, connecting students with faculty or senior medical students with junior medical students. Take advantage of these. If your school doesn’t have one (and even if it does), be on the lookout for others who may serve this role – you’ll meet many if you follow Habit 2. For me, my mentors come from various backgrounds and fields – a radiologist, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a bench scientist and a number of more senior medical students, to name a few. Other medical students can provide invaluable advice on issues they recently dealt with, ranging from how to study for boards (“Make a schedule!”) or how to survive surgery (“Always eat breakfast!”). Faculty mentors help to provide perspective; they’ve seen many students go through the ups and downs of medical school and can give a broader view, or at least assure you that how you’re feeling is not unique. That time back in first year when I did poorly on my first anatomy exam? It was one of my faculty mentors who encouraged me to join a study group. Now, sorting through residency programs, my mentors have helped me weigh my options and look at my priorities.

 Habit 7: Take time for you. 

You are more than medical school – you were before and you will be after. Take time to nurture your relationships, with friends, family and significant others. You may feel all that you are up for after a week of courses is studying in your pajamas interspersed with watching cat videos online, but take a real break and go grab coffee with friends. Take care of yourself. Go to the gym, cook a real meal on occasion, take a walk. Your life should not go completely on hold while you are in medical school. Finding that balance is critical for your career. A friend who graduated last year was weighing his options for residency, including going to his “dream” institution. In the end, though, he realized he would be happier going to another institution that would keep him close to his family and friends. Now, as he slogs through intern year, he is buoyed by his support system. Give yourself the chance to flourish and your career will as well.

जब म मरेँ

एक्कासी एकदम आनन्द आयो। फेरि मलाई निकै गाह्रो पनि त भएको थियो। मेरो कानले सुन्न त सक्थ्यो तर मुखले सुनेको कुरा फर्काउन सकिरहेको थिएन। मेरो अगाडि आउने मान्छे मलाई चिनिस् भनेर सोध्थ्यो तर खै को रहेछ ठम्याउनै सक्थिएन। 

एक त बुढो भएको शरीर, त्यसमाथि धेरै रोग। तर आज अचानक सबै दु:खाइ सकियो। अनि फेरि मैले आफू लडेर सुतेको आफैँले देखेको छु। न त मैले देखेको 'म' ले सास फेरेको थियो, न कुनै हलचल। एकछिनपछि छोरी आई र बाबा भनेर रुन लागी। श्रीमती चिच्चाएर डाँको छोड्दै कराउँदै "मलाई एक्लै छोडेर किन जानु भयो लैजानुस् सँगै .......... " भनेर रुन लागी। 

बिस्तारै रुवाबासीको तान्डव नै हुन लाग्यो। फेरि कोइ भन्थे, "बिचरा दु:ख पाएको थियो गएर ठिकै भयो।" । यस्तैबीचमा कोइले हरियो बाँस ल्याएछ अनि मलाई सेतो कपडाले बेर्न लागेका रहिछन् कोइ। रुवाबासीको पनि चर्कोचर्को आवाज आएको थियो। मैले हेर्दाहेर्दै मलाई कपडाले बेरेर बाँसमा राख्न लागे छरछिमेकीहरु र आफन्तहरु। 

"लासलाई छिटोछिटो सेलाउन पर्छ" भनेर एकजना बुढाले भन्दा पो म झसंग भ। हिजोसम्मको जीवित म आज लास पो भएको रहेछु भनेर।

फेरि पोको पारेको मलाई बाँसमा राखेर बाँध्न लागे सबै जना मिलेर, बिस्तारै आफन्तहरु आउँदै थिए। अनि कोइ चाहिँ बिचरा एकदम असल मान्छे थिए, गए भन्थे भने कोही चाहिँ के गर्नु चलिआको चलन भन्थे। कोइ चाहिँ मसँग अलि दिनअगाडि गरेको झगडा र कल सम्झेर पछुताउँदै थिए। सबै जम्मा भइसकेपछि मलाई राखेको बाँससँगै मलाई पनि बोकेर हिंड्ने तर्खर गरे। अगाडि एक जना लाभा फाल्दै राम राम भन्थ्यो र पछाडिकाहरु सत्य हो भन्दै शंख फुक्दै थिए।

एकछिनमा घाट पुगे तिनीहरु। म पनि पछि पछि थिएँ। यो घाटमा थाहा छैन म कतिको मलामी आएको थिएँ पहिला। तर आज मेरो आफ्नै मलामीसँग मेरै लास जलाउन आएको छु। तल खोलाको छेउमा कसैले पहिल्यै आएर दाउराको चाङ लगाएको थियो। अनि खोलामा मेरो खुट्टा छ्वाएर छेऊमा सानो आगो बाले। एक जना मेरै घर छेउका बुढाले "सबै सामान तयार छ?" भनेपछि सबे मलामी मिलेर पोकाहरु हेरे। "ठिक छ" भन्ने उत्तर आयो। 

"ल अब लासलाई चितामा राखौं" भन्ने कोहीको आवाज आयो। सबै मिलेर मेरो शरीरलाई चितामा राखे। पण्डित बाले छोरालाई "ल आउ बाबु आगो देऊ! के गर्छो त बा चलेको चलन!! यस्तै हो संसारको नियम जन्मेपछि मर्नै पर्ने" भनेर हातमा आगोको मसाल दिए। अनि फेरि भने "ल तीन फन्का गुमेर आगो देऊ।"

हुन त पहिला मैले आफै कति छोराहरुलाई यसरी नै संझाएको थिए मलामी आको बेला। तर आज मैरो आफ्नै चिता जल्दैछ। म आफैँ रमिते भएको छु मेरो समसानको। म आफैँ एउटा साक्षी बनेको छु मेरो मृत्युको। हिजोसम्म दुनियाँ हिँड्ने मेरा खुट्टा, बाँच्न‍लाई श्रम गर्ने हात, खाने मुख, दुनियाँ देख्ने आँखा, समग्रमा पुरै शरीर सबै तयारी अबस्थामा थिए। जल्नका लागि तयार थिए। 

त्यसको लगतै छोराले मसाल लिएर चितामा तीन फन्को मार्यो। अनि बिस्तारै मेरो मुख्मा राखिदियो बलिरहेको मसाल। हिजोसम्म तातो चियाले समेत पोल्ने मुख आज आगोले बाल्दा पनि केही भएन। चिताको आगो बल्दै गयो म रमिता हेर्दै गएँ। हेर्दाहेर्दै आगोको लफ्टा पुरै चितामा पुग्यो।

 म हेर्दै थिएँ मेरो हात पहिला खरानी भयो। अनि खुट्टा। वास्तवमा धैरै पीडा भएको थियो मलाई आफू जलेको हेर्न। त्यो आगोले मलाई जलाउँदै त थियो तर त्यसको जलनभन्दा पनि आफू जिवित हुँदाको कुराहरुले मलाई पोलिरहेको थियो। "छोरा -छोरी, स्वास्नी, दाइ, भाइ, परिवार, साथीसंगी, को नै रहेछ त आफ्नो भन्नु! जिन्दगी हुनेबेला सम्म सबै आफ्नै हो भन्ने लाग्थ्यो! तर आज आफू पनि ता आफ्नो रहिनछु। आज आएर आफू जलेको नाटकको दर्शकबाहेक म अरु के नै हुन सकेँ त?" 

 "बाँचुन्जेल पैसाको नाममा, सम्पत्तिको नाममा,  मान , पद,.... आदि इत्यादिको नाममा कतिसँग झगडा गरेँ होला। आखिरमा आफैँले जन्म दिएको छोराको हातले जल्नु बाहेक अरु के नै रहेछ त मान्छेको जुनी?"

 तर आज आएर यो सबै सोच्दा र पश्चाताप गर्दा म मरिसकेको छु। लास बनिसकेको छु। चिता बनेर जलिरहेको छु।

 म यता सोच्न थाले उता मेरो शरीर त सकिसकेको रहेछ। कोहिले ठूलो बाँसले मेरो बचेको शरीरलाई पिट्दै थियो। हुन न अब कहाँ त्यो शरिर थियो र मासुको डल्लो मात्र थियो। त्यहि पनि उल्टाइपल्टाइ पिट्दै थिए। कोही मलामी भने फर्कने तर्खरमा थिए। कोही भने "अब भोक लाग्यो केही खानु पर्छ" भन्दै थिए। 

"लौ ! अब बचेको सानो टुक्रो मलाई एउटा अङ्खरामा रखेर पानीमा बगाईदिए!" अनि मलाई लाग्यो  "म सकिएँ। मेरो अस्तित्वबाट नामनिशान सबै हरायो। बिस्तारै साथीले भुल्छन मलाई। अनि आफन्तले। समयसँगै छोराछोरीले। तर पनि एक जनाको मलाई मरेपछि पनि माया लाग्दै छ। हो मेरो पत्नीको सायद सेतो कपडा र खालि सिन्दुर अनि खालि हातले गर्दा ऊ मलाई आफू चितामा मजस्तै सकिने बेलासम्म पनि सम्झिरहन्छिन्। 

सबै मलामी त फर्किए मलाई बिदा गरेर तर म अब कता जाउँ! न यमदूत आयो मलाई लिन, न त म उडेर बैतरणी नदी पुगेको छु!! मैले जिन्दगीभर बनाएको स्वर्ग या नर्क , खै कहाँ छन्? आज थाहा भो मलाई।" स्वर्ग, नर्क, पाप,  धर्म, अनि भगवान र मन्दिर यो सब मान्छेको डरले बनेको कुरा रहेछ। तर अब थाहा पाएर के गर्नु म त मरिसकेको छु। 

Lebensvorstellung : Perception of Life

eines Tages, Baby,

Da werden wir alt sein,
Ohh, Baby werden wir alt sein,
Und an all die Geschichten denken, die wir hätten erzählen können.
Ich
Ich bin der Meister der Streiche, wenn es um Selbstbetrug geht,
bin ein Kleinkind vom Feinsten, wenn ich vor Aufgaben steh'.
Bin ein entschleunigtes Teilchen,
kann auf Kleinstem was reissen, lass' mich begeistern für Leichtsinn, wenn ein andrer ihn lebt.

Und ich denke zu viel nach.
Ich warte zu viel ab.
Ich nehme mir zu viel vor und ich mach' davon zu wenig,
Ich halt' mich zu oft zurück,
ich zweifel' alles an, ich wäre gerne klug — allein das ist ziemlich dämlich.
Ich würd' gern so vieles sagen,
aber bleibe meistens still, weil wenn ich das alles sagen würde wär das viel zu viel,
Ich würd' gern so vieles tun, meine Liste is so lang, aber ich werd' eh nie alles schaffen,
also fang' ich gar nicht an.

Stattdessen häng' ich planlos vorm Smartphone,
wart' bloß auf den nächsten Freitag
Gemach! das mach' ich später — die Baseline meines Alltags.
Ich bin so furchtbar faul wie ein Kieselstein am Meeresgrund,
ich bin so furchtbar faul und mein Patronus ist ein Schweinehund.
Und mein Leben ist ein Wartezimmer — niemand ruft mich auf.
Mein Dopamin das spar' ich immer, falls ich es mal brauche
und eines Tages, Baby,
da werde ich alt sein,
Ohh, Baby werde ich alt sein
und an all die Geschichten denken, die ich hätte erzählen können.

Und du?
Du murmelst jedes Jahr neu an Silvester die wieder gleichen Vorsätze treu in dein Sektglas
und ende Dezember stellst du fest, dass du recht hast wenn du sagst, dass du sie dieses Jahr schon wieder vercheckt hast.
Dabei sollte für dich 2013 das erste Jahr vom Rest deines Lebens werden,
du wolltest abnehmen,
früher aufstehen,
öfter rausgehen, mal deine Träume angehen,
mal die Tagesschau sehn, für mehr Smalltalk, Allgemeinwissen, aber,
so wie jedes Jahr, obwohl du nicht damit gerechnet hast, kam dir mal wieder dieser Alltag dazwischen.

Unser Leben, ist ein Wartezimmer, niemand ruft uns auf,
unser Dopamin das spar'n wir immer falls wir’s nochmal brauchen,
und wir sind jung und haben viel Zeit,
warum soll'n wir was riskier'n?
Wir woll'n doch keine Fehler machen, woll'n doch nichts verlieren
und es bleibt so viel zu tun.
Unsere Listen bleiben lang,
und so geht Tag für Tag ganz still ins unbekannte Land.

Und eines Tages, Baby,
da werden wir alt sein,
Ohh, Baby werden wir alt sein,
Und an all die Geschichten denken, die wir hätten erzählen können.
Und die Geschichten, die wir dann statt dessen erzählen, werden traurige Konjunktive sein wie:
Einmal bin ich fast einen Marathon gelaufen
und hätte fast die Buddenbrooks gelesen,
und einmal wär' ich fast bis die Wolken wieder Lila war'n noch wach geblieben,
und fast, fast hätten wir uns mal demaskiert und hätten gesehen, wir sind die gleichen, und dann hätten wir uns fast gesagt, wie viel wir uns bedeuten
– Werden wir sagen

Und das wir bloß faul und feige waren, werden wir verschweigen
und uns heimlich wünschen noch ein bisschen hier zu bleiben,
wenn wir dann alt sind und unsere tage knapp — und das wird sowieso passieren — dann erst werden wir kapieren,
wir hatten nie was zu verlieren,
denn das Leben, das wir führen wollen, das könn' wir selber wählen, also
lass uns doch Geschichten schreiben, die wir später gern erzählen,
lass uns nachts lange wachbleiben, aufs höchste Hausdach der Stadt steigen, lachend und vom Takt frei die allertollsten Lieder singen.
Lass uns Feste wie Konfetti schmeißen, sehn wie sie zu Boden reisen und die gefall'nen Feste feiern, bis die Wolken wieder lila sind.
Und lass mal an uns selber glauben,
ist mir egal ob das verrückt ist, und wer genau kuckt sieht, dass Mut auch bloß ein Anagramm von Glück ist.
Und wer immer wir auch waren,
lass mal werden wer wir sein wolln.
Wir haben schon viel zu lang' gewartet, lass mal Dopamin vergolden.
Der Sinn des Lebens ist leben. — Das hat schon Casper gesagt.
Let’s make the most of the Night — Das hat echo Ke$ha gesagt.
Lass uns möglichst viele Fehler machen
und möglichst viel aus ihnen lernen,
lass uns jetzt schon Gutes säen, damit wir später Gutes ernten.
Lass uns alles tun weil wir können und nicht müssen,
Weil jetzt sind wir jung und lebendig und das soll ruhig jeder wissen
und
unsre Zeit die geht vorbei.
Das wird sowieso passieren,
und bis dahin sind wir frei,
und es gibt nichts zu verlieren.
Lass uns uns mal demaskieren und dann seh'n wir sind die Gleichen, und dann könn' wir uns ruhig sagen, dass wir uns viel bedeuten,
denn das Leben, was wir führen wollen, das können wir selber wählen.

Also: Los!
Schreiben wir Geschichten, die wir später gern erzählen!
Und eines Tages, Baby,
da werden wir alt sein,
Ohh, Baby werden wir alt sein,
Und an all die Geschichten denken, die für immer unsre sind.

Quelle : German Slam-Poetry