Things you should give up to be Happy

We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right

 There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question:

 “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?”  ~Wayne Dyer

What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” ~Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame

 Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk

 Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” ~Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs

about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind.” ~Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining

 Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change

 Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.” ~Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels

 Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open.

 “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” ~Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.

“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” ~Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

This is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier.

Social Sites These Days

I have more than six hundred friends, yet I am lonely. 

I speak to all of them everyday, yet none of them really know me. 

The problem I have sits in the spaces between looking into their eyes 

or at a name on a screen. I took a step back and opened my eyes, 

I looked around to realize the media we call social is anything but. 

When we open our computers, and it's our doors we shut. 

All this technology we have it's just an illusion. 

Community companionship a sense of inclusion yet, 

when you step away from this device of delusion, you awaken to see a world of confusion. 

A world where we're slaves to the technology we mastered,

where information gets sold by some rich greedy bastard. 

A world of self interest, self image, self promotion. 

Where we all share our best bits, but, leave out the emotion. 

Were at 'almost happy' with an experience we share, 

but is it the same if no one is there? 

Be there for your friends and they'll be there too, 

but no one will be if a group message will do. 

We edit and exaggerate, crave adulation. 

We pretend not to notice the social isolation. 

We put our words into order and turn our lives a-glistening. 

We don't even know if anyone is listening! 

Being alone isn't a problem let me just emphasize; 

if you read a book, paint a picture, or do some exercise. 

You're being productive and present not reserved and recluse. 

You're being awake and attentive and putting your time to good use. 

So when you're in public, and you start to feel alone. 

Put your hands behind your head, step away from the phone! 

You don't need to stare at the menu, or a your contact list. 

Just talk to one another, learn to coexist. 

I can't stand to hear the silence of a busy commuter train 

when no one want's to talk for the fear of looking insane. 

We're becoming unsocial, it no longer satisfies...

to engage with one another, and look into someone's eyes.

We're surrounded by children, who since they were born, 

have watched us living like robots, who now think it's the norm. 

It's not very likely you'll make worlds greatest dad, 

if you can't entertain a child without using an iPad. 

When I was a child, i'd never be home. 

Be out with my friends on our bikes we'd roam. 

I'd wear holes on my trainers, and graze up my knees. 

We'd build our own clubhouse, high up in the trees. 

Now the parks so quiet, it gives me a chill. 

See no children outside and the swings hanging still. 

Theres no skipping, no hopscotch, no church and no steeple. 

We're a generation of idiots, smart phones and dumb people. 

So look up from your phone, shut down display. 

Take in your surroundings, make the most of today.

Just one real connection is all it can take, 

to show you the difference that being there can make. 

Be there in the moment, when she gives you the look, 

that you remember forever as 'when love overtook‘. 

The time she first held your hand, or first kissed your lips, 

the time you first disagreed and you still love her to bits. 

The time you don't have to tell hundreds of what you've just done. 

Because you want to share this moment with just this one. 

The time you sell you sell your computer, so you can buy a ring, 

for the girl of your dreams, who is now the real thing. 

The time you want to start a family, and the moment when, 

you first hold your little girl, and get to love again. 

The time she keeps you up at night, and all you want is rest. 

And the time you wipe away the tears as your baby flees the nest. 

The time your baby girl returns, with a boy for you to hold, 

and the time he calls you granddad and makes you feel real old. 

The time you've taken all you've made, just by giving life attention. 

And how you're glad you didn't waste it, by looking down at some invention. 

The time you hold your wife's hand, sit down beside her bed, 

you tell her that you love her and lay a kiss upon her head. 

She then whispers to you quietly as her heart gives a final beat, 

that she's lucky she got stopped by that lost boy in the street. 

But none of these times ever happened, you never had any of this. 

When you're too busy looking down, you don't see the chances you miss. 

So look up from your phone, shut down those displays, 

we have a final act existence a set number of days. 

Don't waste your life getting caught in the net, 

because when the end comes there's nothing worse than regret. 

I'm guilty too of being part of this machine, 

this digital world, we are hear but not seen. 

Where we type as we talk, and we read as we chat. 

Where we spend hours together without making eye-contact. 

So don't give into a life where you follow the hype. 

GIve people your love, don't give them your 'like‘. 

Disconnect from the need to be heard and defined, 

go out into the world leave instructions behind. 

Look up from your phone. Shut down that display. 

Stop reading this poem. Live life the real way.

Friendship

"Friends Aren't Made, They Are Born But Should Be Made For Life."

Friendship, we all know that feeling when we care for someone who is not related to us by birth. A special someone whom we choose to share part of our life with! A confidante whom we select and consider our own! It is often said being friends means "One Soul in Two Bodies".To share with a friend is the most natural thing to do.

No matter if you are happy or sad, hurt or feeling lonely first set of people that may come to your mind, of course apart from your own family, are your friends. Friends become the extended part of our family. A real friend is always there for you, no matter what a fool you have made of yourself, they are the ones who aren't scared to show you your real face, or tell you that you have been acting weirdly or stupidly over a matter.

In today's busy world, people seldom have time for friends, everyone is so busy with their own lives, their own issues, their own problems that they forget to keep in touch with their childhood or college friends. And in today's world people are far more stressed and complain of diseases related to unhealthy eating habits and stress at a much younger age. Why? Well simple answer is we are all too stressed. But what do we do to unwind?

Every one plans to take an yearly vacation to some exotic location for a week and unwind and relax from all the stress. But do you have to go far to relax when you can do it right here in your city and that too at your own home. Yes, with friends! Meeting up old friends always brings back memories of the good times share, relaxed times and the mischief and tantrums of those good old days. Reviving all such memories is said to have a very positive effect on human mind. They basically remind you of good times, make you laugh, make you feel happy and in the process relax you within a few minutes and this relaxation didn't even burn a hole in your pocket.

We are not born with friends, we make them when we are young but often we leave them behind as we grow up the professional ladder. The best way to have a friend is to be one! If we continue to be in touch, make sure we know what's happening in our friends lives, the bond will only grow stronger and we would always have an emotional support to fall back on in times of stress or mis-happenings. This doesn't require lot of effort, just pick up that phone and call a long last friend today and see how you would have made his/her day special. Friends are the most precious people we have in our lives, if you had put in effort to make them friends at one point of time, why not a little effort to sustain them for life?

Reasons to study Medicine and Be a Doctor

Once you have considered medicine as a possibility, things might complicate - the first issue being whether to listen to your heart or your mind. Our minds often impose subjective points of view of the society and our immediate surroundings, which will undoubtedly encourage us to choose medicine up to that point when we forget what our heart's and our own desires are. In this article we bring ten (objective) reasons why study medicine.

1. Plenty of opportunities upon graduating

This reason is rarely stressed properly, but it truly is so. After gradutation there is a broad range of opportunities for future job. In case you find none of the possibilities appealing, you can combine them or invent your own path of further specialization. Upon finishing medical college you can choose to work in hospitals, science institutes, public health care or be part of the medical segment of some other science. There are doctors who are managing health care costs in economical sciences, or cooperate as a part of judicial sciences in proving medical errors and patients' rights.

Be that as it may, do not worry in case you do not see yourself as a future pediatrist or surgeon; you have six years to decide what exactly you are interested in.

2.Working with people

A lot of students name working with people as their primary reason to study medicine. If you are a people person, medicine is the right choice for you. It is of vital importance to stress that to work with people you absolutely must have a great deal of tolerance towards endangered social groups, e.g. the old and disabled.

In course of your studies you will be able to improve this skill even if you do not have a particularly developed affinty towards working with people. During your studies, but also later in hospitals, you will meet a lot of people besides patients - patients' families, medical staff, technicians, administrators etc. As a part of you medical training you will also learn not to form bonds towards patients and their diagnoses or faiths, which is an extremely delicate problem especially when it comes to children.

3. The ability to help people directly and make them happier

This was my main reason for enrolling into medical college. The progress of the human kind and civilization is the purpose of almost all of the college programmes. Medicine participates in this process in the most direct way. The most doctors would say that there is no greater joy than the one you feel when you manage to help a very sick patient or when a group of scientists discovers a new medicine for a certain disease. The ability to directly help the curing process is also a challenge and sometimes it is not easy to cope with it. For this reason your medical education will prepare you so you can land on your feet in 99% of the cases.

4. Team work

Medicine nowadays is based on team work. You will be divided into smaller groups already while at college and this will give you a chance to perfect your people skills. These skills will also come in handy later when you start practicing medicine; not only does a doctor cooperate with nurses and other doctors on daily bases, but he is also a mentor figure and a role model for his students.

Without team work you cannot succeed in the field of medicine, so if you are a lone wolf, you might want to reconsider whether medicine is the right choice for you.

5. Respect in society

Whether we want to admit it or not, doctors are always on the top of the social scale. Whether you go to the theater or to the cinema you should know that you will be noticed. Not downright like Dr. Oz, but a certain part of people will pay attention to you too. This also represents a great responsibility because it is not seldom that a doctor is also a moral authority, especially in smaller places.

On the one hand, this could be a problem because some cannot bear this responsibility and cannot come to terms with the fact that they have lost a part of anonimity that majority of people has. On the other hand, this respect in society is a major factor while choosing the field of medicine for some people. The fact that a lot of doctors end up in politics and continue their careers as politicians supports this theory.

6. A great need for doctors

World needs more doctors. The situation in Europe is really good compared to some other continents like Asia or Africa. There are also differences in numbers and need for doctors in different European countries. A lot of EU countries that have forbidden or restricted employment of foreign citizens do not apply this decision on doctors. In most cases medicine students get a job sometimes even the very day they graduate.

7. Safe job, career, and lifestyle

Another not quite irrelevant reason to study medicine is a certain stability upon graduation. This reason is becoming even more prominent in countries still coping with recession and in a situation where it is becoming harder and harder for young people to find a job. In case this is your decisive reason for studying medicine, be aware that this is not an easy or a simple job, but a job with a lot of sacrifice and personal investment. Nevertheless, a job is waiting for you.

8. Constant ameliorating

The end of medical studies does not mean the end of learning. Quite the opposite - your college is providing you with basics for further knowledge and skill development. Summits and seminars are often organized in exotic locations in order to attract as many doctors as possible. A lot of students see this reason as the significant difference in comparison to other studies and for this they point medicine out as a unique example of constant professional perfecting.

9. White coat

This reason might seem funny to you, this may not even seem like a reason to study medicine to you, but as something irrelevant. Nevertheless, some students look forward to putting on their white coats during practicing in class. White coat, other than being a clothing item and a part of doctor's uniform, is also a representative of the order of the medical system, cleanliness of the job, and high hygiene standards. A tidy and clean coat is emitting a clear doctor's attitude towards patient. Precisely these reasons make the white coat one of the reasons to start studying medicine.

10. Science universal to the whole world

And the last, but not the least reason is a great uniformity of medical science. Upon graduating from a medical college in Europe you can find a job and work in any hospital in South America or anywhere else in the world (unlike some humanistic sciences). Furthermore, the major part of medical literature is in English, the most of the medical terms are in Latin. You will get acquianted with English and Latin in the course of your studies so that words like vertebra or clavicula will be nothing new neither to you nor to a doctor on the other side of the world.

By naming these top ten reasons, I tried to encompass the most of the points that students of medicine name as their motivation for studying medicine and which are the main cause for choosing precisely this vocation. One should also not forget giving up free time which is essential for successful ending of this college. Just as there are these ten reasons for, there are also reasons against, but the final decision is for you to make. Sometimes all it takes is just one reason to make the right choice.

Seven Habbits of a good medical Students

Habit 1: Learn how you learn. Then just do it.

Medical school can be a bit of a shock. We all know it will be hard, requiring long hours, but the sheer enormity of knowledge we need to master (or at least make a passing acquaintance with) can be overwhelming. You will need to figure out how you learn best, and most efficiently. Is it taking copious notes in class? Drawing pictures of dissections? Re-listening to lectures on your iPhone while out for a run? I was a solitary studier all through college, poring over all the required reading and taking notes. I tried to continue this pattern in medical school. This worked fine during the first term, which was largely a review of basic science principles I knew well already. However, after getting my results back on the first anatomy exam at the start of our second term, I realized something had to change. My response was to join a study group. While I might have avoided my areas of weakness when studying alone, in a group, we’d be sure to go over all those annoying branches of the brachial plexus. This is a habit that will help you beyond medical school. The field of medicine is one of life-long learning. We will constantly need to update our knowledge of our field by reading journals, attending conferences, and discussing interesting cases with our colleagues. 

Habit 2: Look beyond your books. 

You may feel like you need to study 24/7, but if you never leave the library, you will miss out on a lot your medical school has to offer. Join clubs, get involved with student government, sign up for a committee. Not only will you contribute to the culture of your medical school and help make it a more enriching place for other medical students, you never know what connections you might make. One of my peers who joined the student government found herself rubbing shoulders with many faculty, including department chairs. When she decided she was interested in radiology, she was able to set up a time to have an informal chat with the department chairman, as she already knew him. By being involved, you will be learning how to network and establish connections that will serve you throughout your career.

 Habit 3: Give back. 

We all spent time in our pre-med years scurrying amongst volunteer experiences in an attempt to become a better applicant, er, and to give back to the community, of course. Don’t stop with that acceptance letter. Medical school provides lots of opportunities; you have a chance to contribute to the community, make connections, develop new skills and, yes, they can go on your residency application. I served as a co-director of our student-run free clinic. It not only gave me a chance to work on my leadership skills, but also helped me discover that I enjoy the administrative aspect of medicine as well, something that impacted my career decisions.

Habit 4: Be adventurous, both professionally and personally – you never know where it may lead you.

 What you may not realize at the beginning of medical school is how quickly the time goes by and how soon you will need to be making decisions about your specialty. Early exploration can be invaluable in helping you make your decision. The summer between first and second year, another of my colleagues had the opportunity to do a research project with the ophthalmology department. Although it wasn’t a specialty she was particularly familiar with, she liked the people she was working with and threw herself into the project. She found her passion and is now starting her ophthalmology residency. Many medical schools offer opportunities to go abroad. Even (especially!) if you’re not an international traveler, these can be great experiences, exposing you to other medical cultures. 

Habit 5: Recognize your own strengths (and weaknesses). 

To get into medical school, you’ve likely been at the top of your class most of your life. The thing about medical school is that all of your classmates have as well. And, when grades come out, not everyone can be at the top of the class. For me, this moment was rather sobering – and demoralizing. Allow yourself not to be really good at everything. Work on your weaknesses so they don’t become your Achilles’ heel, but don’t dwell on them. Instead, feed your strengths. Nowhere in my Dean’s letter does it say, “And she is not so great at anatomy.” 

Habit 6: Establish a circle of mentors. 

Some schools have formal mentoring programs, connecting students with faculty or senior medical students with junior medical students. Take advantage of these. If your school doesn’t have one (and even if it does), be on the lookout for others who may serve this role – you’ll meet many if you follow Habit 2. For me, my mentors come from various backgrounds and fields – a radiologist, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a bench scientist and a number of more senior medical students, to name a few. Other medical students can provide invaluable advice on issues they recently dealt with, ranging from how to study for boards (“Make a schedule!”) or how to survive surgery (“Always eat breakfast!”). Faculty mentors help to provide perspective; they’ve seen many students go through the ups and downs of medical school and can give a broader view, or at least assure you that how you’re feeling is not unique. That time back in first year when I did poorly on my first anatomy exam? It was one of my faculty mentors who encouraged me to join a study group. Now, sorting through residency programs, my mentors have helped me weigh my options and look at my priorities.

 Habit 7: Take time for you. 

You are more than medical school – you were before and you will be after. Take time to nurture your relationships, with friends, family and significant others. You may feel all that you are up for after a week of courses is studying in your pajamas interspersed with watching cat videos online, but take a real break and go grab coffee with friends. Take care of yourself. Go to the gym, cook a real meal on occasion, take a walk. Your life should not go completely on hold while you are in medical school. Finding that balance is critical for your career. A friend who graduated last year was weighing his options for residency, including going to his “dream” institution. In the end, though, he realized he would be happier going to another institution that would keep him close to his family and friends. Now, as he slogs through intern year, he is buoyed by his support system. Give yourself the chance to flourish and your career will as well.

जब म मरेँ

एक्कासी एकदम आनन्द आयो। फेरि मलाई निकै गाह्रो पनि त भएको थियो। मेरो कानले सुन्न त सक्थ्यो तर मुखले सुनेको कुरा फर्काउन सकिरहेको थिएन। मेरो अगाडि आउने मान्छे मलाई चिनिस् भनेर सोध्थ्यो तर खै को रहेछ ठम्याउनै सक्थिएन। 

एक त बुढो भएको शरीर, त्यसमाथि धेरै रोग। तर आज अचानक सबै दु:खाइ सकियो। अनि फेरि मैले आफू लडेर सुतेको आफैँले देखेको छु। न त मैले देखेको 'म' ले सास फेरेको थियो, न कुनै हलचल। एकछिनपछि छोरी आई र बाबा भनेर रुन लागी। श्रीमती चिच्चाएर डाँको छोड्दै कराउँदै "मलाई एक्लै छोडेर किन जानु भयो लैजानुस् सँगै .......... " भनेर रुन लागी। 

बिस्तारै रुवाबासीको तान्डव नै हुन लाग्यो। फेरि कोइ भन्थे, "बिचरा दु:ख पाएको थियो गएर ठिकै भयो।" । यस्तैबीचमा कोइले हरियो बाँस ल्याएछ अनि मलाई सेतो कपडाले बेर्न लागेका रहिछन् कोइ। रुवाबासीको पनि चर्कोचर्को आवाज आएको थियो। मैले हेर्दाहेर्दै मलाई कपडाले बेरेर बाँसमा राख्न लागे छरछिमेकीहरु र आफन्तहरु। 

"लासलाई छिटोछिटो सेलाउन पर्छ" भनेर एकजना बुढाले भन्दा पो म झसंग भ। हिजोसम्मको जीवित म आज लास पो भएको रहेछु भनेर।

फेरि पोको पारेको मलाई बाँसमा राखेर बाँध्न लागे सबै जना मिलेर, बिस्तारै आफन्तहरु आउँदै थिए। अनि कोइ चाहिँ बिचरा एकदम असल मान्छे थिए, गए भन्थे भने कोही चाहिँ के गर्नु चलिआको चलन भन्थे। कोइ चाहिँ मसँग अलि दिनअगाडि गरेको झगडा र कल सम्झेर पछुताउँदै थिए। सबै जम्मा भइसकेपछि मलाई राखेको बाँससँगै मलाई पनि बोकेर हिंड्ने तर्खर गरे। अगाडि एक जना लाभा फाल्दै राम राम भन्थ्यो र पछाडिकाहरु सत्य हो भन्दै शंख फुक्दै थिए।

एकछिनमा घाट पुगे तिनीहरु। म पनि पछि पछि थिएँ। यो घाटमा थाहा छैन म कतिको मलामी आएको थिएँ पहिला। तर आज मेरो आफ्नै मलामीसँग मेरै लास जलाउन आएको छु। तल खोलाको छेउमा कसैले पहिल्यै आएर दाउराको चाङ लगाएको थियो। अनि खोलामा मेरो खुट्टा छ्वाएर छेऊमा सानो आगो बाले। एक जना मेरै घर छेउका बुढाले "सबै सामान तयार छ?" भनेपछि सबे मलामी मिलेर पोकाहरु हेरे। "ठिक छ" भन्ने उत्तर आयो। 

"ल अब लासलाई चितामा राखौं" भन्ने कोहीको आवाज आयो। सबै मिलेर मेरो शरीरलाई चितामा राखे। पण्डित बाले छोरालाई "ल आउ बाबु आगो देऊ! के गर्छो त बा चलेको चलन!! यस्तै हो संसारको नियम जन्मेपछि मर्नै पर्ने" भनेर हातमा आगोको मसाल दिए। अनि फेरि भने "ल तीन फन्का गुमेर आगो देऊ।"

हुन त पहिला मैले आफै कति छोराहरुलाई यसरी नै संझाएको थिए मलामी आको बेला। तर आज मैरो आफ्नै चिता जल्दैछ। म आफैँ रमिते भएको छु मेरो समसानको। म आफैँ एउटा साक्षी बनेको छु मेरो मृत्युको। हिजोसम्म दुनियाँ हिँड्ने मेरा खुट्टा, बाँच्न‍लाई श्रम गर्ने हात, खाने मुख, दुनियाँ देख्ने आँखा, समग्रमा पुरै शरीर सबै तयारी अबस्थामा थिए। जल्नका लागि तयार थिए। 

त्यसको लगतै छोराले मसाल लिएर चितामा तीन फन्को मार्यो। अनि बिस्तारै मेरो मुख्मा राखिदियो बलिरहेको मसाल। हिजोसम्म तातो चियाले समेत पोल्ने मुख आज आगोले बाल्दा पनि केही भएन। चिताको आगो बल्दै गयो म रमिता हेर्दै गएँ। हेर्दाहेर्दै आगोको लफ्टा पुरै चितामा पुग्यो।

 म हेर्दै थिएँ मेरो हात पहिला खरानी भयो। अनि खुट्टा। वास्तवमा धैरै पीडा भएको थियो मलाई आफू जलेको हेर्न। त्यो आगोले मलाई जलाउँदै त थियो तर त्यसको जलनभन्दा पनि आफू जिवित हुँदाको कुराहरुले मलाई पोलिरहेको थियो। "छोरा -छोरी, स्वास्नी, दाइ, भाइ, परिवार, साथीसंगी, को नै रहेछ त आफ्नो भन्नु! जिन्दगी हुनेबेला सम्म सबै आफ्नै हो भन्ने लाग्थ्यो! तर आज आफू पनि ता आफ्नो रहिनछु। आज आएर आफू जलेको नाटकको दर्शकबाहेक म अरु के नै हुन सकेँ त?" 

 "बाँचुन्जेल पैसाको नाममा, सम्पत्तिको नाममा,  मान , पद,.... आदि इत्यादिको नाममा कतिसँग झगडा गरेँ होला। आखिरमा आफैँले जन्म दिएको छोराको हातले जल्नु बाहेक अरु के नै रहेछ त मान्छेको जुनी?"

 तर आज आएर यो सबै सोच्दा र पश्चाताप गर्दा म मरिसकेको छु। लास बनिसकेको छु। चिता बनेर जलिरहेको छु।

 म यता सोच्न थाले उता मेरो शरीर त सकिसकेको रहेछ। कोहिले ठूलो बाँसले मेरो बचेको शरीरलाई पिट्दै थियो। हुन न अब कहाँ त्यो शरिर थियो र मासुको डल्लो मात्र थियो। त्यहि पनि उल्टाइपल्टाइ पिट्दै थिए। कोही मलामी भने फर्कने तर्खरमा थिए। कोही भने "अब भोक लाग्यो केही खानु पर्छ" भन्दै थिए। 

"लौ ! अब बचेको सानो टुक्रो मलाई एउटा अङ्खरामा रखेर पानीमा बगाईदिए!" अनि मलाई लाग्यो  "म सकिएँ। मेरो अस्तित्वबाट नामनिशान सबै हरायो। बिस्तारै साथीले भुल्छन मलाई। अनि आफन्तले। समयसँगै छोराछोरीले। तर पनि एक जनाको मलाई मरेपछि पनि माया लाग्दै छ। हो मेरो पत्नीको सायद सेतो कपडा र खालि सिन्दुर अनि खालि हातले गर्दा ऊ मलाई आफू चितामा मजस्तै सकिने बेलासम्म पनि सम्झिरहन्छिन्। 

सबै मलामी त फर्किए मलाई बिदा गरेर तर म अब कता जाउँ! न यमदूत आयो मलाई लिन, न त म उडेर बैतरणी नदी पुगेको छु!! मैले जिन्दगीभर बनाएको स्वर्ग या नर्क , खै कहाँ छन्? आज थाहा भो मलाई।" स्वर्ग, नर्क, पाप,  धर्म, अनि भगवान र मन्दिर यो सब मान्छेको डरले बनेको कुरा रहेछ। तर अब थाहा पाएर के गर्नु म त मरिसकेको छु। 

I walked and my Life danced

This beauty and this complexion 
This walk and this tenderness, 
how's this apocalypse.
now who can say what...it's too good to say anything.

When I walked, the life danced, 
when I moved, light woke up, 
there is a new weather and new winds, 
I am new and my styles are new.

The clouds of your hair, 
your playful eyes, 
how are these troubles, 
what to say now ?? 

The world has changed, why shouldn't my style change. 
Everything has changed. 
When the new song has echoed, why shouldn't the (musical) instruments change.
Even my notes are new.
My paths are like all new, 
my journey is new. 
My wishes are new, 
my sight is new too.

Your eyes are unique, 
like cups of alcohol, 
even on trying the heart is not in control, 
what to say now ??

My heart wants me to make a garland of stars, 
and the moon be like a (little) lamp without me, 
all the waves of sea, I would decorate on my scarf 
don't know why this heart wishes so. 
Someone may think of me as mad, 
but I don't care.
I learnt only this much, 
what my heart has been looking for ?? 

What colors you have brought, 
what a wave you have brought, 
what a zeal you have brought.. 
what to say now ??

Life Is Not A Marathon

Today we continue to run
Everyone is a runner
You cannot stop the clock
Time flows only in one direction.
A marathon course where we can’t turn back
We compete with our rivals
and run
on this road called time.
Trying to be faster
trying to be one more step ahead
Believing that there must be a future in front of us
Believing that there is a finishing line

Life is a marathon.

But is it really?
Is life really like that?
No, life is not a marathon.
Nobody can choose our path
Nobody can choose our finishing line
Running anywhere is fine
You can head wherever you like
Everyone has his or her own path
Your own path?
Does that really exist?
Nobody knows.
But the world we’ve never seen is vast
So yes start your journey
Think about it and then think more
and then when you know your goal, go for it.
It’s okay to fail.
It’s okay to return to where you started
You don’t need to compare yourself to others
There is no single path
There is no single finishing line.
There are as many goals and finishing lines
as number of people on this planet.

All lives are excellent.
Who said that life is a marathon?

Life Is Not A Marathon. Everyone has his or her own path. Your own path?

Source: LYBIO.net

Get back to Track if you're losing Focus

1- I'm Losing Focus Because I'm Bored

The Problem: The junk you have to learn for school is horribly, exhaustingly boring. It's numbing your mind. Your brain is wallowing in a thick cloud of "Who cares?" and "Why bother?" so focusing on the subject is getting more and more impossible with every passing second. In fact, right now, you'd rather throw yourself from the second story instead of having to read one more tidbit about this boring, useless subject.

The Solution: Reward yourself with something you do like after a successful study session. First, define your success. Set a study goal like this: "I need to learn 25 different facts from this chapter/10 strategies for the ACT/15 new vocabulary words (etc.) during the next hour." Then, set your reward: "If I do it, I can download six new songs/listen to a podcast/watch a movie/shoot some hoops/go for a run/buy a new bag (etc.)." You may be the only person monitoring your progress, but if you give yourself a reward for good behavior, just like your elementary teacher used to do, you'll be more likely to offset the boredom by anticipating something fun.

2- I'm Losing Focus Because I'm Wired

The Problem: You want to run. You don't want to sit inside. Your legs are bouncing, your fingers are snapping, you can barely keep your behind in your seat. You're a kinesthetic learner: all you want to do is M.O.V.E, and you're losing focus because of all those ants in your pants.

The Solution: If you can think ahead, then get it all out of your system before you ever pick up a book. Go for a long run, hit the gym, or take a swim before your study session begins. If you didn't plan ahead – you're already studying and are getting antsy – then do pushups or crunches in between questions. Better yet, see if you can get someone to ask you questions while you shoot hoops. You'll get to activate your muscles, and your brain will get to work, too. Even better – record your notes and download the recording to your iPod. The next time you clip in for a bike ride, study while you're on the trails. No one said sitting down for a study session had to involve a desk!

3- I'm Losing Focus Because I'm Tired

The Problem: The only thing on your mind right now is sleep. You're imagining that cozy pillow underneath your head and the quilt tucked just right under your chin. You've worked all week; you want nothing more to do with studying. You need rest, and your drooping eyelids are keeping you from steady focus.

The Solution: You have a few options here, none of which revolve around No-Doze. First, you could go take a nap. Literally. Sometimes a 20-minute power nap can be all the motivation you need to zap a little life back into your system. If you're in the library and can't imagine putting your head on the table to snooze, then get up, peel off your sweatshirt, and go for a brisk, 10-minute walk somewhere cool. Exercising may tire your muscles a bit, but it will rev up your mind, which is why you're not supposed to exercise too close to bedtime. Finally, if you're still struggling to stay awake, then call it quits and hit the sack early that night. You're not doing yourself any favors by attempting to study when your body is telling you to rest. You won't remember half of what you study anyway, so it would be better to get up a few hours early the next day to study after you've slept a full night.

4-I'm Losing Focus Because I'm Busy

The Problem: You're balancing about eighty-nine different things in your life right now. There's work, family, friends, classes, bills, volunteering, clubs, meetings, laundry, exercise, groceries and the list keeps going until you feel ready to explode. You're not just busy; you're overwhelmed. You're drowning in everything that needs to be done, so studying is difficult because you keep thinking about the sixteen other things you should be doing right this second.

The Solution: It can be difficult to add yet another item to your pile, but the best way to manage studying in the midst of chaos is to take a half hour and set a study schedule for the week. When busy people have to choose between studying and let's say, grocery shopping or going to work, studying will always get pushed back unless you've made enough time for each during the week. Print a time management chart to get started!

5- I'm Losing Focus Because I'm Distracted

The Problem: You keep getting Facebook alerts on your phone. Your friends are laughing across the room. The guy at the next table is slurping his latte loudly. You hear every cough, every whisper, every laugh, every conversation. Or, maybe you are your OWN distraction. You can't stop thinking about problems, worrying about relationships and dwelling on unrelated ideas. You're sidetracked by everything, so studying is just too difficult.

The Solution: If you're the type of person who gets distracted by noise from the environment around you – external study distractors – then you have to isolate yourself during study time. Only study in a quiet place like the back corner of the library or your room if no one is home or plug into some white noise on your iPod.

Become a better medical Student

1. Be willing to be selfish. You must be willing to prioritize personal time and to continue to do the unique things that make you who you are. And trust me, the time can be found in any rigorous program. Doctors aren’t robots, and you should never plan to train like one. Medical school must be a time for you to continue to develop your hobbies and your personality. These are the individual characteristics that will make your patients love you one day. More importantly, these are the activities that will keep you both sane and free from stress.

2. Get 8 hours of sleep. No debating this one. First the benefits – you will study better, be healthier, and feel happier. There are enough distractions and obstacles built into the medical education that you should not be adding to the list. Sleeping in class, rereading text, and mental sluggishness are not paths to engaging the curriculum. Turn off the light, set your alarm, and keep track of your sleeping schedule. After all – you are training to be a doctor who will one day advise patients on healthy practices. Limit the sacrifices you make in your own health along the way. Healthy eating and regular exercise follow, as well.

3. Subscribe to just one health policy daily email or news blog. Medicine, particularly in the modern world, has much importance beyond the realm of clinical information. As a doctor, you will one day be called to be a leader, and your understanding of health policy and health systems will drive your success. You do not have to understand every sentence, or even read every word. But be open to absorbing what you can so you will be better aware of health care on-goings. The future of medicine is in dynamic health delivery systems. While you’re cramming over the Krebs cycle, take a five minute break to review the latest info on real-world medicine issues. ACOs are being built and discussed right now – embrace that change and learn as the systems are being designed. Read during rounds when your attending is off ranting about something esoteric and his back is turned. Read it while your on the bus or in the bathroom. Again, time can be found if you look for it.

4. Study smart. There is a difference between studying for a test and studying to be a doctor. While these two goals sometimes coincide, they are often very different in nature. I find that, for some reason, medical students have difficulty wrapping there minds around this concept. Here is what I mean – medical students often look to prepare for exams as if they need to know everything about a given subject. Buying multiple textbooks and review guides is more than common. Gaining this knowledge is the right thing to do, and will make them a better doctor in the long run. But it may distract you from your goal of doing your best on given test – and worse, it may lead to burnout. If an exam has questions that are drawn from lecture, then information outside of lecture is irrelevant for the scope of that test. You need to make a personal decision as to how much supplemental information you need to be successful. I’m not telling you to take any shortcuts in learning medicine, I am telling you to be prepared for what matters. You have at least 7 years to go through medical school and residency, and then a lifetime to practice. You cannot possibly learn everything in a day, month, or year. Don’t sweat the details during your first year, anymore than is already forced on you.

5. Smile. As easy as this simple act sounds, this may be the most difficult of my suggestions. But stick with me! I am a firm believer in the power of positivity and confidence. You will get through medical school. That is not in question. But you have a choice as to HOW you get through medical school – to complain, suffer, and grieve through the process … or to enjoy the ride. I believe that smiling, appreciating the best that you have, and keeping a positive attitude effects you in two ways. In the first, you will have the advantage of internal confidence and lower stress. From a medical standpoint, you will be less rattled on test day and benefit from decreased cortisol – both can go a long way! The second effect of positivity is the external impact you will have on those around you. How do you think nurses respond to medical students that complain or look upset during morning rounds. I know that a genuine smile and greeting has led to nurses and residents that have been willing to go the extra mile to offer me support. How do you think an attending or residency coordinator will respond to the stolid student, versus the upbeat one? The truth is that letting in negativity and suffering through complaint are a means of externally expressing defeat. You do not want to be that kind of medical student. Smile, you are living your dream!

You and Me :)

Roads, Cascade and River may change their Trail,
The Radiance of Lamps may change
May my Life initiate a new tune
Raindrops may hum a different Note
Seasons will change their Style
But, I will remain forever in your Embrace,
like I always have been...
Each moment each second.

10 Highly Effective Study Habits

Students grapple with many issues in their lives, and because of all of the competing things for your attention, it’s hard to concentrate on studying. And yet if you’re in school, you have to do at least a little studying in order to progress from year to year. The key to effective studying isn’t cramming or studying longer, but studying smarter. You can begin studying smarter with these ten proven and effective study habits.

1. How you approach studying matters

Too many people look at studying as a necessary task, not an enjoyment or opportunity to learn. That’s fine, but researchers have found that how you approach something matters almost as much as what you do. Being in the right mindset is important in order to study smarter.

Sometimes you can’t “force” yourself to be in the right mindset, and it is during such times you should simply avoid studying. If you’re distracted by a relationship issue, an upcoming game, or finishing an important project, then studying is just going to be an exercise in frustration. Come back to it when you’re not focused (or obsessed!) by something else going on in your life.

Way to help improve your study mindset:

• Aim to think positively when you study, and remind yourself of your skills and abilities.
• Avoid catastrophic thinking. Instead of thinking, “I’m a mess, I’ll never have enough time to study for this exam,” look at it like, “I may be a little late to study as much as I’d like, but since I’m doing it now, I’ll get most of it done.”
• Avoid absolute thinking. Instead of thinking “I always mess things up,” the more objective view is, “I didn’t do so well that time, what can I do to improve?”
• Avoid comparing yourself with others, because you usually just end up feeling bad about yourself.

2. Where you study is important

A lot of people make the mistake of studying in a place that really isn’t conducive to concentrating. A place with a lot of distractions makes for a poor study area. If you try and study in your dorm room, for instance, you may find the computer, TV, or a roommate more interesting than the reading material you’re trying to digest.

The library, a nook in a student lounge or study hall, or a quiet coffee house are good places to check out. Make sure to choose the quiet areas in these places, not the loud, central gathering areas. Investigate multiple places on-campus and off-campus, don’t just pick the first one your find as “good enough” for your needs and habits. Finding an ideal study place is important, because it’s one you can reliably count on for the next few years.

3. Bring everything you need, nothing you don’t

Unfortunately, when you find an ideal place to study, sometimes people bring things they don’t need. For instance, while it may seem ideal to type notes into a computer to refer back to later, computers are a powerful distraction for many people because they can do so many different things. Playing games, going online, IM’ing, surfing the Web, and answering emails are all wonderful distractions that have nothing to do with studying. So ask yourself whether you really need a computer to take notes, or whether you can make do with the old-fashioned paper and pen or pencil.

Don’t forget the things you need to study for the class, exam or paper you’re focusing on for the study session. Nothing is more time-consuming and wasteful than having to run back and forth regularly because you forget an important book, paper, or some other resource you need to be successful. If you study best with your favorite music playing, make sure your iPod is with you.

4. Outline and rewrite your notes

Most people find that keeping to a standard outline format helps them boil information down to its most basic components. People find that connecting similar concepts together makes it easier to remember when the exam comes around. The important thing to remember in writing outlines is that an outline only words as a learning tool when it is in your own words and structure. Every person is unique in how they put similar information together (called “chunking” by cognitive psychologists). So while you’re welcomed to copy other people’s notes or outlines, make sure you translate those notes and outlines into your own words and concepts. Failing to do this is what often causes many students to stumble in remembering important items.

It may also be helpful to use as many senses as possible when studying, because information is retained more readily in people when other senses are involved. That’s why writing notes works in the first place – it puts information into words and terms you understand. Mouthing the words out loud while you copy the notes before an important exam can be one method for involving yet another sense.

5. Use memory games (mnemonic devices)

Memory games are methods for remembering pieces of information using a simple association of common words. Most often people string together words to form a nonsense sentence that is easy to remember. The first letter of each word can then be used to stand for something else – the piece of information you’re trying to remember. The most common mnemonic device example is “Every Good Boy Deserves Fun.” Putting the first letters of every word together – EGBDF – gives a music student the five notes for treble clef.

The key to such memory devices is the new phrase or sentence you come up with has to be more memorable and easier to remember than the terms or information you’re trying to learn. These don’t work for everyone, so if they don’t work for you, don’t use them.

Mnemonic devices are helpful because you use more of your brain to remember visual and active images than you do to remember just a list of items. Using more of your brain means better memory.

6. Practice by yourself or with friends

The old age adage, practice makes perfect, is true. You can practice by yourself by testing yourself with either practice exams, past quizzes, or flash cards (depending what kind of course it is and what’s available). If a practice exam isn’t available, you can make one up for yourself and your classmates (or find someone who will). If a practice or old exam from a course is available, use it as a guide – do not study to the practice or old exam! (Too many students treat such exams as the real exams, only to be disappointed when the real exam has none of the same questions). Such exams help you understand the breadth of content and types of questions to expect, not the actual material to study for.

Some people enjoy reviewing their materials with a group of friends or classmates. Such groups work best when they’re kept small (4 or 5 others), with people of similar academic aptitude, and with people taking the same class. Different formats work for different groups. Some groups like to work through chapters together, quizzing one another as they go through it. Others like to compare class notes, and review materials that way, ensuring they haven’t missed any critical points. Such study groups can be helpful for many students, but not all.

7. Make a schedule you can stick to

Too many people treat studying as the thing to do when you get around to it or have some spare time. But if you schedule study time just as your class time is scheduled, you’ll find it becomes much less of a hassle in the long run. Instead of last-minute cramming sessions, you’ll be better prepared because you haven’t put off all the studying into one 12-hour marathon. Spending 30 or 60 minutes every day you have a class studying for that class before or after is a lot easier and will allow you to actually learn more of the material.

You should study regularly throughout the semester for as many classes as you can. Some people study every day, others put it off to once or twice a week. The frequency isn’t as important as actually studying on a regular basis. Even if you just crack open a book once a week for a class, it’s better than waiting until the first exam in a massive cram session.

Scheduling is even more important if you’re going to be a part of a study group. If only half of your members are committed to a study group for every meeting, then you need to find other study group members who are as committed as you are.

8. Take breaks (and rewards!)

Because so many people view studying as a chore or task, it’s human nature to avoid it. If, however, you find rewards to help reinforce what you’re doing, you may be pleasantly surprised by the change you may find in your attitude over time.

Rewards start by chunking study time into manageable components. Studying for 4 hours at a time with no breaks is not realistic or fun for most people. Studying for 1 hour, and then taking a 5 minute break and grabbing a snack is usually more sustainable and enjoyable. Divide study time into segments that make sense and work for you. If you have to digest a whole textbook chapter, find sections in the chapter and commit to reading and taking notes on one section at a time. Maybe you only do one section in a sitting, maybe you do two. Find the limits that seem to work for you.

If you succeed in your goals (such as doing two sections of a chapter in one sitting), give yourself a real reward. Perhaps it’s saying, “I’ll treat myself to some good dessert tonight at dinner,” or “I can buy a new tune online,” or “I can spend an extra 30 minutes gaming for every 2 sections of a book chapter I read.” The point is to find a reward that is small but real, and to stick to it. Some may view this as absurd, since you’re setting limits you can easily ignore. But by setting these limits on your behavior, you’re actually teaching yourself discipline, which will be a handy skill to have throughout life.

9. Keep healthy and balanced

It’s hard to live a balanced life while in school, I know. But the more balance you seek out in your life, the easier every component in your life becomes. If you spend all of your time focusing on a relationship or a game, you can see how easy it is to be out of balance. When you’re out of balance, the things you’re not focusing on – such as studying – become that much harder. Don’t spend all of your time studying – have friends, keep in touch with your family, and find interests outside of school that you can pursue and enjoy.

Finding balance isn’t really something that can be taught, it’s something that comes with experience and simply living. But you can work to try and keep your health and body balanced, by doing what you already know – exercise regularly and eat right. There are no shortcuts to health. Vitamins and herbs might help you in the short-term, but they’re not substitute for real, regular meals and a dose of exercise every now and again (walking to class is a start, but only if you’re spending an hour or two a day doing it).

Look at vitamins and herbs as they are intended – as supplements to your regular, healthy diet. Common herbs – such as ginkgo, ginseng, and gotu kola – may help you enhance mental abilities, including concentration, aptitude, behavior, alertness and even intelligence. But they may not, either, and you shouldn’t rely on them instead of studying regularly.

10. Know what the expectations are for the class

Different professors and teachers have different expectations from their students. While taking good notes and listening in class (and attending as many of the classes as you can) are good starts, you can do one better by spending some time with the instructor or professor’s assistant. Talking to the instructor early on – especially if you foresee a difficult course ahead – will help you understand the course requirements and the professor’s expectations. Maybe most students in the class are expected to get a “C” because the material is so difficult; knowing that ahead of time helps set your expectations, too.

Pay attention in class. If the instructor writes something on the whiteboard or displays it on the screen, it’s important. But if they say something, that’s important too. Copy these things down as they’re presented, but don’t zone out completely from what the instructor is also saying. Some students focus on the written materials without regard for what the instructor is saying. If you write down only one aspect of the professor’s instructions (e.g., just what they write down), you’re probably missing about half the class.

If you get a particularly bad grade on a paper or exam, talk to the instructor. Try and understand where things went wrong, and what you can do in the future to help reduce it from happening again.