Things you should give up to be Happy

We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right

 There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question:

 “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?”  ~Wayne Dyer

What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” ~Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame

 Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk

 Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” ~Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs

about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind.” ~Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining

 Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change

 Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.” ~Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels

 Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open.

 “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” ~Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.

“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” ~Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

This is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier.

Social Sites These Days

I have more than six hundred friends, yet I am lonely. 

I speak to all of them everyday, yet none of them really know me. 

The problem I have sits in the spaces between looking into their eyes 

or at a name on a screen. I took a step back and opened my eyes, 

I looked around to realize the media we call social is anything but. 

When we open our computers, and it's our doors we shut. 

All this technology we have it's just an illusion. 

Community companionship a sense of inclusion yet, 

when you step away from this device of delusion, you awaken to see a world of confusion. 

A world where we're slaves to the technology we mastered,

where information gets sold by some rich greedy bastard. 

A world of self interest, self image, self promotion. 

Where we all share our best bits, but, leave out the emotion. 

Were at 'almost happy' with an experience we share, 

but is it the same if no one is there? 

Be there for your friends and they'll be there too, 

but no one will be if a group message will do. 

We edit and exaggerate, crave adulation. 

We pretend not to notice the social isolation. 

We put our words into order and turn our lives a-glistening. 

We don't even know if anyone is listening! 

Being alone isn't a problem let me just emphasize; 

if you read a book, paint a picture, or do some exercise. 

You're being productive and present not reserved and recluse. 

You're being awake and attentive and putting your time to good use. 

So when you're in public, and you start to feel alone. 

Put your hands behind your head, step away from the phone! 

You don't need to stare at the menu, or a your contact list. 

Just talk to one another, learn to coexist. 

I can't stand to hear the silence of a busy commuter train 

when no one want's to talk for the fear of looking insane. 

We're becoming unsocial, it no longer satisfies...

to engage with one another, and look into someone's eyes.

We're surrounded by children, who since they were born, 

have watched us living like robots, who now think it's the norm. 

It's not very likely you'll make worlds greatest dad, 

if you can't entertain a child without using an iPad. 

When I was a child, i'd never be home. 

Be out with my friends on our bikes we'd roam. 

I'd wear holes on my trainers, and graze up my knees. 

We'd build our own clubhouse, high up in the trees. 

Now the parks so quiet, it gives me a chill. 

See no children outside and the swings hanging still. 

Theres no skipping, no hopscotch, no church and no steeple. 

We're a generation of idiots, smart phones and dumb people. 

So look up from your phone, shut down display. 

Take in your surroundings, make the most of today.

Just one real connection is all it can take, 

to show you the difference that being there can make. 

Be there in the moment, when she gives you the look, 

that you remember forever as 'when love overtook‘. 

The time she first held your hand, or first kissed your lips, 

the time you first disagreed and you still love her to bits. 

The time you don't have to tell hundreds of what you've just done. 

Because you want to share this moment with just this one. 

The time you sell you sell your computer, so you can buy a ring, 

for the girl of your dreams, who is now the real thing. 

The time you want to start a family, and the moment when, 

you first hold your little girl, and get to love again. 

The time she keeps you up at night, and all you want is rest. 

And the time you wipe away the tears as your baby flees the nest. 

The time your baby girl returns, with a boy for you to hold, 

and the time he calls you granddad and makes you feel real old. 

The time you've taken all you've made, just by giving life attention. 

And how you're glad you didn't waste it, by looking down at some invention. 

The time you hold your wife's hand, sit down beside her bed, 

you tell her that you love her and lay a kiss upon her head. 

She then whispers to you quietly as her heart gives a final beat, 

that she's lucky she got stopped by that lost boy in the street. 

But none of these times ever happened, you never had any of this. 

When you're too busy looking down, you don't see the chances you miss. 

So look up from your phone, shut down those displays, 

we have a final act existence a set number of days. 

Don't waste your life getting caught in the net, 

because when the end comes there's nothing worse than regret. 

I'm guilty too of being part of this machine, 

this digital world, we are hear but not seen. 

Where we type as we talk, and we read as we chat. 

Where we spend hours together without making eye-contact. 

So don't give into a life where you follow the hype. 

GIve people your love, don't give them your 'like‘. 

Disconnect from the need to be heard and defined, 

go out into the world leave instructions behind. 

Look up from your phone. Shut down that display. 

Stop reading this poem. Live life the real way.